Lizard King names the druid conspiracy

With the price of a Guzman Y Gomez share now marginally higher than one of their (middling) burritos, I’ll certainly be interested in seeing how they manage to spin entering the US with an Australian burrito chain which I increasingly suspect might have actually been named after Boogie Nights alum Luis Guzman, but that’s a matter of their own disclosure.

ANZ Bank’s chairman raised a fair point that a proposal for company directors to openly disclose their sexuality might come with a few issues, but personally I’d prefer such things are left as a reckless game of sexual gossip.

I would enjoy seeing a director misunderstand the task and unnecessarily list a feet preference on his company profile page, but I’ll probably just have to wait for another Ashley Madison leak.

Though I imagine the dating apps are just filled with bots now, kinda the opposite of that Amazon AI checkout tech which just turned out to be a thousand blokes in a faraway country spying on your shopping.

Those pesky Just Stop Oil protestors struck another blow against their own cause by spray painting Stonehenge, and while I think it’s more likely plain old stupidity, the fact they receive donations from a Getty oil heiress is definitely some good fuel for the conspiracists.

But can we go deeper? Maybe I’ll start linking together the oil cabal run by those shadowy figures, you know who I mean but it might be best that I not name…the druids.

Some say they’re long gone, their woad-painted wisdom now replaced by their ancestors, those howling three lions-inked Brits banging their drums away and chanting against their old Danish enemies at the Euros.

But one thing we know is coming home is Julian Assange! He’s back safe now, but if I knew I was going to be on the same plane I might have considered rebooking…

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